(

So Many Questions...

Welcome to Hopestream’s FAQ page. If you’re here, you’re likely worried about your teen or young adult’s substance use and have countless questions.

Whether you’re assessing your child’s substance use, are concerned about addiction, looking for better ways to communicate, or simply looking for practical support, you’ll find compassionate, expert guidance here.

Remember: You’re not alone. If you can’t find your answer here, explore our community resources, binge our globally ranked podcast, or join us in
The Stream, our private village for moms and female caregivers of kids who struggle with substance use and mental health.

Topic Categories

Identifying Problems
Membership
Terminology
Prevention & Education
Recovery Support
Communication & Support Strategies

Membership

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re ready—readiness often comes when you realize that what you’ve been doing isn’t working, when isolation feels too heavy to bear alone, or when you’re simply exhausted from trying to navigate this journey without a roadmap. Families who find their home in Hopestream typically share a willingness to try new approaches, a desire to focus on their own wellbeing alongside concerns for their child, and an openness to connecting with others who truly “get it”. The most important ingredients to know if you’re ready? A desire for something “better” and a willingness to take one small step forward.

The annual commitment for our membership lets us all build a sustainable community and allows members to take advantage of the full range of resources, relationships, and growth opportunities that develop over time. Because we’ve lived the chaos and understand life is unpredictable, you need to know your support system will be there for you regardless.

Change and healing are a process, not an event, and they happen gradually, sometimes painstakingly slowly. We’ve found members typically need 12-18 months to become more emotionally regulated, contemplate new information and approaches, try out those new approaches, process deep and often difficult emotions, and see meaningful shifts in their relationship with their child. This is your and your child’s life and none of the healing should be rushed.

Honestly, as much or little as you can invest, and we know that fluctuates with your child’s current situation. Ideally, tapping into the community for even 5-10 minutes per day can create real, lasting, and healthy benefits, while some members get benefit from participating in 1-2 hours of classes, video replays and group chats weekly. And it changes based on your daily reality. The Stream is designed to fit into busy lives with on-demand resources, recorded content, and multiple meeting times—because the more you put in, the more you’ll get out of it, but any level of participation can make a meaningful difference.

Hopestream offers educational webinars, skills-building workshops, support meetings, expert Q&As, and special topic sessions addressing common challenges families face. Most live educational events are recorded and made available in the Video Library, which keeps our valuable content accessible even when life obligations or time zones prevent you from attending live.

Absolutely—we understand this is a significant step, and you need to feel comfortable with any community you join during such a vulnerable time. Hopestream offers a full 2-week free trial that opens the door to everything our community provides—all meetings, resources, and connections, with no obligation. This gives you breathing room to experience firsthand how our approach feels and whether this community might become the support system you’ve been searching for.

Think of Hopestream membership as opening a treasure chest of support tailored specifically for families walking this difficult path. Members gain access to a rich library of videos, guides and worksheets that translate complex concepts into practical actions; safe discussion spaces where no question is too basic or too hard; specialized workshops where we discuss common challenges; connections with other moms and female caregivers who truly “get it”; access to licensed therapists, coaches and experts who can help navigate tricky situations; and perhaps most importantly, a community that holds hope for you when holding it yourself feels hard.

The Stream was created by moms specifically for moms and female caregivers of kids misusing substances and experiencing mental health challenges, as the program focuses on the unique experiences and challenges mothers face in this journey. While the community and educational content is designed for moms, we encourage members to share the skills, approaches, and insights they learn with their partners, spouses, or other family members to create consistency in their home environment. For dads and male caregivers seeking support, Brenda’s podcast, Hopestream, offers valuable resources for all parents navigating life while supporting a child struggling with substance misuse.

Hopestream Community is committed to equity pricing for those with marginalized identities and parents in need. Please get in touch with us here for sliding-scale membership options.

Your and your child’s well-being matters too much to let financial concerns keep you from finding the community you deserve.

Hopestream regularly collects member feedback through surveys to track improvements in parent and caregiver well-being, confidence in navigating their child’s substance use, and hope for their child’s future. This data, combined with qualitative success stories, helps us refine our programming and quantitatively shows the positive impact of evidence-based, compassionate approaches on both family members and their loved one struggling with substances.

Members frequently report reduced anxiety, improved communication with their loved ones, greater self-care practices, and more peaceful home environments after implementing the approaches learned in the community. Many share stories of their loved ones becoming more receptive to help, entering treatment, or taking small steps toward healthier choices—all while family relationships remain intact or strengthened during the process. You can hear some of our members’ voices talking about the impact Hopestream and The Stream membership has had in their lives here.

Hopestream upholds strict privacy standards with secure digital platforms for meetings and communications, clear confidentiality agreements for all members, and a culture that respects privacy concerns. Members control the level of personal information shared in their profile, and personal information is never shared outside the community. Members fully control what they share in group settings, creating a safe environment for vulnerable discussions.

Hopestream was born from the recognition that parents need more than advice to “detach” or stage interventions—they need practical, evidence-based, and importantly – proactive – tools to make positive changes in their families. Hopestream uniquely weaves together the proven approaches of CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) and the Invitation to Change approach with a focus on positive psychology and health and wellness that doesn’t exist anywhere else.

Also unique is our app-based online community for moms, The Stream, where both structured learning and flexible peer-parent support are available 24/7/365. In The Stream, moms and female caregivers find a rare blend of stigma-free understanding, practical strategies, and a culture of positivity that recognizes your child’s unique and wonderful agency, while supporting and strengthening your mental and physical wellbeing.

Identifying Problems

As parents who’ve been in your shoes, we’ve learned that what’s important to look for isn’t a checklist but patterns that persist. A sign that your child’s substance use is becoming serious is when it starts affecting multiple areas of their life – grades may drop, old friendships dissolve, new and unfamiliar friends emerge, and communication breaks down. You feel like you’ve lost your child and the relationship is deteriorating. Trust that parent instinct that’s telling you something’s not right, and work on approaching your child with concerned curiosity.

You might feel like you’re going crazy noticing small changes – the bloodshot eyes he blames on allergies (requiring lots of eye drops), money disappearing from your wallet or purse, that new group of friends they don’t want you to meet. It’s important to know that today’s vape devices can contain high-potency THC and have little to no odor, making it hard to detect. You may notice your vibrant, active, funny kid becoming withdrawn and irritable, with mood swings that can’t be explained by typical teen angst. Just know many of these signs overlap with mental health struggles too, so approach with curiosity rather than accusations.

To understand the severity of your child’s substance use, it’s important to look at patterns and consequences, not just frequency. If they’re experimenting, it will likely be occasional and won’t derail their life. They’ll still be engaged in activities, and have good relationships and communication with you (we get it, it’s still scary.) The shift to dependence and addiction comes when they’re using to cope with everyday emotions or difficulties, choosing substances over activities they once loved, and continue using despite consequences that would have deterred them before. Your parental intuition is picking up on something – honor that.

Prevention & Education

Through our personal experiences and working with hundreds of families, we’ve seen how complex this vulnerability truly is. There are some common risk factors – family history of addiction, early experimentation, anxiety, ADHD, depression, childhood trauma, sexual abuse, learning differences, and even being adopted or identifying in an LGBTQ+ community. But we’ve also worked with families whose kids developed problems despite having every protective factor imaginable. It’s important to have visibility to these factors, but even more important to focus on helping yourself so you know how you can help your child.

Early recovery is a fragile yet exciting time for a teen or young adult – and nerve-wracking for parents. You can help your child by having them identify their personal triggers and support them in building a recovery-supportive lifestyle with healthy relationships, meaningful activities, and stress management skills. You may need to modify your home and lifestyle as well, considering things like keeping alcohol or other substances around where they could be a trigger for your child.

When you hear experts explain how substances affect the teenage brain differently than adult brains, it can transform how you understand your child’s behavior. The teenage brain is under major construction until the mid-twenties, particularly in areas controlling judgment and impulse control. When substances repeatedly flood the developing brain with dopamine, it can essentially “teach” the brain that substances are more important than natural rewards. Understanding this biology can help you see your child’s struggles through a medical lens rather than as a moral failing, which may then allow you to approach them with compassion rather than anger or frustration.

Communication & Support Strategies

While technically, yes, you have certain legal rights with your minor children, forcing treatment sometimes means they’ll physically be there while being emotionally checked out. Your child’s physician, therapist or psychiatrist can provide guidance after an evaluation, and you’ll also want to check your state laws for age of consent. Sometimes, for the sake of safety, you may need to require treatment and can work with an educational consultant to find the right fit.

Effective evidence-based approaches that are available for teens and young adults include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Motivational Enhancement Therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), family-based interventions like CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) and, and in some cases, medication treatment. The most successful programs will involve family participation instead of treating just the “identified patient” and address co-occurring mental health issues as well.

You may think setting and holding boundaries is a way to control your child’s behavior, but they’re actually about what you will and won’t accept in your own life. We think of them as fences with gates that swing open and closed, not walls that keep people out. You can learn to clearly communicate your boundaries (along with specific consequences you’re willing to consistently enforce), while continuing to express care and maintaining lines of communication regardless of their choices.

This is perhaps the hardest part of the journey – when you’re reaching out, willing to help, and they pull away, deny they have a problem or just slam the door and vanish. What actually works isn’t ultimatums, threats, shaming or negotiating, but finding ways to build moments of genuine connection, and that takes work. Small authentic connections build bridges to bigger conversations. Learning the CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) approach taught by Hopestream is a solid first step in helping a child with substance use issues who doesn’t want help.

When you discover your child is using cannabis/THC/marijuana daily, your first instinct may be to panic and forbid it completely (which, spoiler alert, usually backfires). What does help is to educate yourself first on what cannabis actually does to the developing brain, so you’re starting from a place of accurate knowledge. The marijuana of today is not the same product it was when you were in high school or college. Try asking curious questions about what they get from using marijuana – managing anxiety and fitting in socially, helping with ADHD, etc. – and recognize your child probably thinks of it as a solution to a problem, not THE problem.

As tempting as it is to jump in and lecture when they come home high, it’s more effective to wait for those rare calm moments – maybe driving together or taking a walk – when defenses are naturally lower. If they’re under the influence, step back and find another time. Instead of rehearsing lectures, ask genuine questions and then do the hardest thing: actively listen without interrupting. We teach a strategic way to approach these conversations that sets you up for your best chance at a real, productive conversation.

Recovery Support

It’s critical to have a medical evaluation before allowing an “at-home” withdrawal or detox because tapering off or quitting some substances can cause very serious and even deadly symptoms. Once they’re in early recovery, have them start to focus on meeting basic needs like nutrition, sleep, and getting emotional support while they gradually re-engage in structured activities. Recovery is a slow process, and understanding what Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms (PAWS) look like will help you recognize the hard work your child is doing.

This distinction often requires professional assessment because the symptoms frequently overlap, and many conditions commonly co-occur. Parents are left guessing which came first and never quite know what you’re looking at. Generally, if symptoms persist during periods of abstinence (2+ weeks), underlying mental health issues may be present, but the most effective approach of a dual-diagnosis program treats both conditions simultaneously rather than attempting to address them separately.

Finding a parent support network can truly help save your sanity during the darkest days. Our Hopestream podcast and The Stream Community for moms are lifelines, offering evidence-based strategies and the emotional connection and understanding that only comes from lived experience. At Hopestream, we teach evidence-based strategies for supporting your child while also maintaining your own well-being through the process. Remember, supporting yourself isn’t selfish – it’s necessary for the marathon of supporting your child.

Finding the right help can feel like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded. We recommend talking with an educational consultant who has expertise in assessing your child and matching them with the best treatment options. Check our Resources page for more information on treatment finders.

When your child continues drug or alcohol use despite negative consequences, that often indicates changes in brain reward pathways that affect their decision-making processes. (They also don’t have a fully developed brain yet, so add that to the mix.) It’s not a moral failing, a lack of willpower or a lack of love for their family. Substance use is likely serving important functions for your child—managing emotional pain, creating social connection, or coping with trauma—that need to be addressed with healthier alternatives for real change to occur.

Terminology

Consider using person-first language such as “person with a substance use disorder,” “person who uses substances,” or “person in active recovery.” When discussing behavior, focus on specific patterns like “substance misuse” or “problematic substance use” rather than labeling the person. These alternatives acknowledge that substance use is something a person experiences rather than who they fundamentally are.

Language shapes how we view others and ourselves. Terms like “addict” reduce a person to their behavior and can inadvertently reinforce shame and stigma that create barriers to healing and connection. Substance Use Disorder (SUD) acknowledges that a person is experiencing a health condition rather than being defined by it, which promotes dignity and opens pathways to support and recovery.

Substance Use Disorder is a medical diagnosis that describes a pattern of substance use causing significant distress or impairment, with symptoms ranging from mild to severe depending on how many diagnostic criteria are met. This term represents a shift away from viewing substance problems as moral failings and toward understanding them as health conditions influenced by biological, psychological, and social factors that can be addressed through evidence-based approaches.

Stigmatizing language can prevent people from seeking help, diminish self-worth, and damage relationships that could otherwise provide crucial support during recovery. Research shows that when healthcare providers, family members, and society use person-first, non-judgmental language, people experiencing substance problems are more likely to engage in treatment, report positive healthcare experiences, and maintain hope for positive change.